Rabbi Bentzion Shafier from www.theshmuz.com asks a question on a Rashi on this week’s parsha. This week, Yaakov meets Rochel for the first time and he begins crying. Rashi points out that one of the reasons he cried was because he did not have anything to give to her. A few weeks ago, when Eliezer met Rivka, he brought gold and expensive jewelry, but Yaakov had nothing for his future wife. The reason Yaakov had nothing was because Eliphaz (Esav’s son) took all of Yaakov’s money. After hearing why Yaakov had no money, Rav Shafier asks the question why did Yaakov cry. It was not his fault that he did not have any money; it was because is was taken from him. Why should he be sad that he did not bring anything when he did all he could? Furthermore, Rochel was not upset that Yaakov did not have gold. Rochel was a spiritual person and was happier that Yaakov had “real wealth” (mitzvos which would carry both of them to a high place in the World to Come). So, why did Yaakov cry over not bringing gold or money to Rochel?

Rav Shafier gives an amazing answer. The reason Yaakov cried over not having money to give to Rochel was because a mentsch does not show up empty handed. Yaakov realized that it was not his fault and that Rochel was not interested in his material wealth, but it is not proper for a person to greet another person without anything.

I learned this lesson this past summer. I had to travel twice to the same city for my work: for two weeks in June and then again for one week in July. During my first trip in June, a family invited me to stay in their basement and to eat any meal with them for free. They had built a room in their basement specifically for having guests and they were very happy to host me. They told me that when I would be coming back in July, I could stay with them for free again. The first time I was there, I brought them a gift to thank them for their generosity to me. I could see that although they accepted the gift, they did not enjoy getting gifts. Therefore, before my trip in July, I called my Rebbe and asked him if I should buy my hosts a gift when I stay by them again. I told him that they did not want a gift the first time I visited and it might upset them. On the other hand, they are doing a huge chesed for me. What should I do? He said that the correct thing to do is bring a gift. Even though they might not want the gift, a guest should not show up empty handed. The guest needs to show hakaras ha’tov, gratitude, to his hosts.

Our goal in life should always be to act and behave properly. If we follow the footsteps of our forefathers, we will certainly be great people.

Good Shabbos!
-yes
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