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Just Tell Them!
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10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to View/Close
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH
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Login
"NO GOSSIP PLEASE"
Don’t Be Shy!!!
Just Tell Them!
“NG PLEASE”
NG Please!!

Click to view

10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to view
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

Vayetze

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The immediate repercussions of Yaakov’s receiving his father’s Divine blessing is tragic. Yaakov is forced to flee the land of…

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Vayeitzei 2018 Q & E

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Was Elifaz (Yitzchok’s Talmid) an Am HaAretz? Rashi tells us (Vayeitzei 29:11) that Elifaz came to kill Yaakov on the…

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Posted in: Torah Teasers, Vayetze Filed under: Torah Teasers

Torah Teaser – Parshat Vayetzei Questions & Answers – December 09 2017-5777

December 8, 2016 Sammy Tamir

Yaakov, the True Tzaddik, Married Two Sisters All the Meforshim ask, how was Yaakov able to marry two sisters if…

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Vayetzei 5777 – Criticism With Love

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When our Forefather, Yaakov arrived at Charan in order to escape his brother Eisav’s murderous wrath and to seek a…

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Vayeitzei 5776 – My book was almost thrown away

November 19, 2015 Sammy Tamir

Now Yaakov lifted his feet and went to the land of the people of the East (Bereshis 29:1) In the…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayetze Filed under: Parsha

Torah Teaser – Parshat Vayeitzei Questions & Answers – November 19 2115-5776

Sammy Tamir

A Kiss And A Scream “Vayishak Yaakov L’Rochel Vayisa Es Kolo Vayeivch; Yaakov kissed Rochel and raised his voice and…

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Vayeitzei 5775 – 1.2 Million Angels

November 27, 2014 Sammy Tamir

And Yaakov went on his way and Angels of Hashem met him (Bereshis 32:2) Our Sages tell us that when…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayetze Filed under: Parsha

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