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Just Tell Them!
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10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to View/Close
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH
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    • Guarding our speech for 2 hours view post
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        • Nitzavim
        • Vayelech
        • Haazinu
        • V’Zot HaBerachah
    • Halacha
      • Halacha on the Parsha
      • Halachapedia
      • Mi Yodeya
    • My613
    • Lashon Hara
    • Holidays
    • Fast Days
    • Davening
      • Go Daven
      • Smart Siddur
      • Online Ashkenaz Siddur
      • Online Sefard Siddur
      • Online Edot HaMizrach Siddur
    • Kitzur Daf
      • Chulin
      • Horayot
      • Menachos
      • Zevachim
    • Pirkei Avos
    • Torah Teasers
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    • Torah Anytime
      • Aish HaTorah
      • Chabad.org
      • Sefaria
      • The Shmuz
      • Jewish Virtual Library
  • Ion Kosher
  • Famous Quotes
  • Jokes
  • Subscribe
    • Subscribe to our weekly newsletter & Divrei Torah
  • Find Jewish Singles
  • Ask The Rabbi A Question!
  • My Miracle
  • Sell Your Stuff Free Listing
  • Post A Note at The Kotel
  • Need A Recipe? Ask The Chef?
Login
"NO GOSSIP PLEASE"
Don’t Be Shy!!!
Just Tell Them!
“NG PLEASE”
NG Please!!

Click to view

10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to view
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

Good morning!

January 14, 2009 Sammy Tamir

One should not say “Shalom Alecheim” to another person before praying in the morning. This is because “Shalom” is a…

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Posted in: Davening Filed under: Davening

Shemos 5769 – Zerizus

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Rav Henach Leibowitz, of blessed memory, once taught from this week’s parsha about the real meaning of “zerizus” (zealously fulfilling…

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Posted in: Parsha, Shemot Filed under: Parsha

Lost Object

January 9, 2009 Sammy Tamir

If one finds someone’s lost object he must return it and not accept a reward for doing so. However, a…

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Posted in: Halacha Filed under: Halacha

Negative Commandment #6

January 8, 2009 Sammy Tamir

Sefer Ha’mitzvos Ha’Katzar (The concise book of mitzvos) By the Chofetz Chaim This book lists the Torah mitzvos that can…

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Posted in: My613 Filed under: My613

Vayichi 5769 – Don’t make others judge favorably

Sammy Tamir

In this week’s parsha, Yaakov is on his deathbed and Yosef comes to visit him. Yaakov makes Yosef take a…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayechi Filed under: Parsha

Davening next to the door

Sammy Tamir

A person should not daven next to the door of the shul because this looks like he is in a…

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Posted in: Davening Filed under: Davening

Assarah b’Tevet

January 6, 2009 Sammy Tamir

On Assarah b’Tevet (“The Tenth of Tevet”) of the year 3336 (425 BCE), the armies of the Babylonian emperor Nebuchadnezzar…

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Posted in: Fast Days Filed under: Fast Days

Negative Commandment #5

December 30, 2008 Sammy Tamir

Sefer Ha’mitzvos Ha’Katzar (The concise book of mitzvos) By the Chofetz Chaim This book lists the Torah mitzvos that can…

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Posted in: My613 Filed under: My613

Simcha

Sammy Tamir

When a person prays, they should be happy – this includes when praying Shacharis. It is common for many people…

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Posted in: Davening Filed under: Davening

Vayigash 5769 – That’s Bad! That’s Good!

Sammy Tamir

The mishna in Masechta Brachos states a person should say a blessing over bad news just as he would over…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayigash Filed under: Parsha

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