Esav was forty years old and he got married (Bereshis 26:34)
Esav is compared to a pig… When the pig lies down, it stretches out its hooves to say, ‘Look at me, I’m kosher.’ So too, the descendents of Esav steal and commit crimes, but state they are doing good acts. For the first forty years, Esav would take wives from their husbands, but when he turned forty he stated, ‘my father got married at 40, so I should do the same.’ – RASHI

Rashi is bothered why the Torah tells us how old Esav was when he got married and does not state this by Yaakov. He points out the reason. Esav wanted to “show” everyone he was an extremely righteous individual. Just like his father got married when he was forty, so too Esav followed in his father’s footsteps and got married at the age of forty. Esav was the master of “Shtick”. He walked around looking like a great person and then in his private life would perform terrible acts of wickedness. He was one way in his public life and another in his private life and this is a terrible way to live. Do you want to know how terrible it is? It is so serious that upon conclusion of Shemone Esray, there is an extra supplication that begins, “G-d, guard my mouth from speaking evil and my lips of speaking Mirmah (trickery).” Mirmah means trying to deceive someone by fooling him. It is so serious of a crime that our Sages felt we needed to add this at the beginning of a supplication right after Shemone Esray.

Why does one behave this way? It is because of a lack of trust and faith in G-d. This person thinks G-d does not know or see the way he really is. The person thinks he can “get away with it” and since no one will catch him, why not do it? I can cheat on my taxes because the Government will never know anyway. I can take a longer lunch at work because my boss won’t see. I can go to Internet sites I should not go to because I can erase the History and no one will see where I went. And the list goes on and on and on.

So how does one heal himself or herself from this terrible trait? The Midrash relates a story with Shimon ben Shetach. A young man once visited the great Rabbi and told him he committed terrible sins. He now wanted to repent but did not know how to. Shimon ben Shetach told him he should take upon himself not to lie. The man wondered, “That is it? It can’t be that easy” He started walking home and passed an apple stand. He was about to grab an apple and then wondered what he would say if someone asked him from where he got the apple. He didn’t steal it. He walked by a bar and was about to enter when he thought how he would answer his wife when she asked him where he was. The same thoughts came to him whenever he wanted to sin because he was worried he would not be able to say the truth. He was able to fully repent.

We can probably all think of many people who are masters of fooling others. Although I hope these people read this and repent, we must not fool ourselves. Let’s not ignore this lesson and think we are perfect angels. Although none of us are as bad as Esav and none of us walk around thinking of being a “trickster”, almost everyone is guilty of some type of game playing, even if it is very small. Let’s all search closely the acts we do and think if we ever try to pull “Shtick” on others. Remember whenever you point one finger at someone else, three fingers are pointing back at you.

Good Shabbos!
-yes
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