*Eve of Yom Kippur 1. Requesting forgiveness: Yom Kippur does not atone for offenses toward another person. Forgiveness must be requested from that person )א”ס תרו’ סי ע”שו .)This applies to Parents, Rebbeim, Spouses, Siblings, friends, neighbors, and especially foes. Asking for forgiveness from friends which were never offended but not from people we have disagreements is improper. It is important to remember who to ask forgiveness. 2. If The victim is unaware: If one said Lashon Hara about a friend, but the victim is not aware of it; it depends if the gossip triggered a damage of any kind, in which case the Chafetz Chaim )ב”סי’ ה כלל )holds that he must inform his friend how he wronged him and ask for forgiveness. Rav Yisrael Salanter argues and claims that he should not reveal the wrongdoing, as it may cause more pain to the victim, hearing that his friend betrayed him. Rather he should only say that he misspoke about him and ask for forgiveness .)מועדים וזמנים ח”א סי’ נ”ד( 3. Lip-Service: If one is asked for forgiveness but cannot overcome the pain caused by the other party. Even if he says that he forgives but truly it is only lip-service, there is no forgiveness ,ש”מ ה”ד כג’ סי א”רע) )איש החזון בשם כ”יו שני חוט .One must therefore ensure that he truly show remorse to his friend when asking for forgiveness. The obligation is to request up to three times while accompanied by three people. Then, one is no longer requested to reconcile ) א”ס תרו’ סי א”ורמ ע”שו .)However, if one tarnish someone’s reputation, the victim is not requested to forgive )שם א”רמ.) 4. Eating more: The Gemara [Yoma 81b] relates that one who eats and drinks on the 9th of Tishrei, it is as if he fasted on the 9th and 10th (Yom Kippur). The Shela Hakadosh explains; since the Mitzvos require joy and Teshuva needs Simcha. On Yom Kippur we lack joy due to the worries about our sins and the outcome of the judgement. As a result, we supplement that lack with extra joy on the Eve of Yom Kippur since the fast is not pleasing to Hashem because it lacks joy. Hence, the Simcha of the 9th is part of the fast and Teshuva of the 10th . 5. Mikve: It is the custom to immerse in a Mikve on the eve of Yom Kippur )תרו’ סי טור.) 6. No Mikve: If there is no Mikve available, or for whatever reason one cannot go to the Mikve, he should “purify” himself in the following manner. To step in the shower and wet the plant of his feet, then stand under the waterflow with his head bent and his arms loosely folded on his chest so the water could flow everywhere (Mate Ephraim Siman 606, Letter 10, Mishna Berura 88, 4). It is required to have 9 kavim = 23 litters = 24 quarts of water flowing. In a flow restricted shower 2.5 gallons or 9.5 litters pour down per minute. In a regular shower close to 10 gallons or 38 Litters pour down per minute. So, 3 minutes are ) עיין שו”ת מנח”י ח”ד סי’ כ”א, שו”ת שבט הלוי ח”א סי’ כ”ד( .requirement kavim 9 the satisfy to enough 7. Candle Lighting: Although lighting candles before Yom Kippur is only a custom, but since it has been widely accepted )תרי’ סי ע”שו .)Lighting is then de facto the beginning of the fast. Leather shoes should then be removed prior to lighting unless one stipulates that she does not intent to declare the beginning of Yom Kippur by lighting. 8. Shehecheyanu. It is the custom that women say the Shehecheyonu blessing on the lighting. Hence, since that blessing includes Yom Kippur, if they go to Shul for Kol Nidrei they should not repeat the .(שעה”צ תרי”ט סק”ז) ,Minyan the with blessing 9. The 5 Prohibitions: 1) No eating or drinking. 2) No wearing of leather shoes (even if only a small portion has leather). 3) No bathing or washing (including the mouth in the morning). One can only wash the hands till the palms of the hands. If they were soiled or out of prevention one needs to wash them with soap, he may but should have no intent to draw any pleasure. 4) No anointing with perfume or lotion. 5) No marital relations. Hence, one should have a lamp lit in the bedroom. 10. Tefila Zakah: This prayer should be said prior to Kol Nidrei as it includes a confession [Vidui] offenses toward another person, and a solemn declaration to forgive anyone that may have offended us. As if one who has mercy and forgive easily, Hashem promised, in a Divine covenant, that he too will judge us with mercy and forgive. Hence, women too should say the section related to forgive others. Fasting 11. Pregnant and Nursing women: Pregnant and nursing women must fast on Yom Kippur, ‘סי ע”שו) )תריז . A nursing woman that fears that fasting will harm her or diminish her milk in a way that will harm her baby, she should consult a Rabbi. 12. Nursing woman: If a nursing woman will not have any milk if she fasts and she never gives her baby formula, she may drink in increments, as .( ב”ס ו”פ פ”יוהכ שלמה הליכות א”הגרשז (explained be will Eating in Increments[“Shiurim”]. 13. If a pregnant or nursing woman can only fast by staying in bed the whole day, it is better for her husband to pray at home and watch the children, if there is no other option. 14. Recently gave birth. A woman should not fast within the three full days [a day is 24 hours, MB 330:10] since giving birth. Between four and seven days of giving birth, if she feels she needs to eat, she may. Thus, . )שו”ע סי’ תריז ס”ד( fast must she days 7 after 15. Sick Person: Someone whose life may be in danger by fasting on Yom Kippur is obligated to eat. Not all cholim who are obligated to eat on Yom Kippur have the same halachic dispensation. There are cholim whose illness only warrants minimal eating or drinking. Minimal consumption is termed pachos mi’keshiur – below the minimal portion that qualifies for halachic eating and/or drinking [Shulchan Aruch 618:7 and 8 and Mishna Berurah, as well as Shmiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 40:18-27]. What is pachos mi’keshiur for eating and drinking? On Yom Kippur the requirement is the volume of food that is less than a type of large date. The volumetric measurement of a is more than 1.5 fl. oz. (44 ml). Therefore, one who is ill may eat 1.5 fl. oz. (which is less than a large date) of food every nine minutes. A practical way for the patient to do this is as follows: Fill 1 1 /2 “schnapps cups” that are marked “1 oz. – 29 ml” with compacted bread, crackers, or cereal, and consume that amount every nine minutes. If waiting nine minutes still poses a danger, one may eat every four minutes, etc. 16. Beverages on Yom Kippur: The minimal volume for beverages that qualifies for Less than the Shiur (minimal consumption by a sick whose life may be in danger) is less than a cheek full of liquid. Unlike food, the shiur of liquids differs with everyone’s capacity to hold liquid in his or her mouth. The larger the mouth, the larger the amount allowed and conversely, the smaller the mouth, the smaller amount allowed. 17. Amounts: For purposes of drinking on Yom Kippur, an average adult cheek full is larger than 1.5 fl. oz. (44 ml). A teenager cheek full is smaller. One can ascertain his or her personal cheek full by filling their mouth completely with water, expelling the water into a measuring cup and dividing the amount in half, which is the amount held by one cheek. The authorized amount for the ill is slightly less than this amount. This “test” must be conducted before Yom Kippur. 18. Saying the Blessing: When drinking in increments, one should say the blessing before the first time he drinks and does not have to repeat it even if he waited 10 minutes to drink again. However, had no intent to drink again or left the house, he should make another blessing. One should not make a the Brachah usually said after drinking as he drank less than the required amount, ) לח’ סי ו”ח ם”מהרש.) 19. Combining: Food and drink do not combine into a Shiur. Meaning, one may eat and drink the above amounts simultaneously, despite that together they total a larger shiur. Thus, the authorization to eat and drink are also distinct from each other. One may be permitted to drink but not to eat and vice versa. Only when the illness requires both can the person eat and drink. Again, the amounts are a preventive measure, but if they are not enough one must eat normally. 20. Sweet drinks: A person that must drink the above amounts, is advised to drink sweet drinks such as; grape juice or orange juice, so the sugar will strengthen him and may eliminate the need to eat ז”הגרש) נשמת אברהם סי’ תרי”ב סק”א ). 21. Question: is it better for a weak person to start the fast eating/drinking in increments, or to fast, which may ultimately lead to breaking the fast? Answer: Most Poskim hold that it is better to start eating/drinking ) אג”מ ח”ד סי’ קכא, מועדים וזמנים ח”ח כ”א( ,increments in 22. Washing the hands: The ill that must eat on Yom Kippur must wash if eating bread. The hands should be washed normally, meaning the entire hands. 23. Kiddush: Although some Poskim discuss the requirement for a sick person eating on Yom Kippur )משנ”ב שם( requirement no s’there hold Poskim most(, שעה”צ סי’ תריח ס”ק כ”ב ( Kiddush make to needs 24. Yaaleh Veyavo: If one says the Birkas Hamazon on Yom Kippur, he should say Yaaleh Veyavo. If he forgot, he does not need to repeat it, )י”ס תריח’ סי ע”שו .)If he ate cake he should also mention Yom (שש”כ פל”ט הע’ ק”ו) “וזכרנ ו לטובה ביום הכיפורים הזה” :follows as, Hamichyah Al in Kippur Motazei Yom Kippur 25. Havdalah: The Havdalah requires only wine and a candle. Thus, the candle is required only if one has a light that burnt during Yom Kippur. If no such light is available, the Havdalah should be said on wine only. One may not use a candle that was lit by striking a match. 26. After Nightfall: A woman which husband has not yet returned from Shul, or a person feeling weak may may drink water in private, even before Maariv and Havdalah, )ד”ס המגן אלף . )One should “boruch hamavdil” before drinking as drinking was forbidden on Kippur (ה”סכ ב”פס כ”שש, א”הגרשז ( 50. Preferably, a woman who needs to eat at nightfall, should hear the Havdalah from a man, and to avoid saying it herself. If there is no man available, she may say it and drink the wine. ( ‘סי ד”ח הלוי שבט ת”שו (נ”ד

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