She [Rochel] conceived and gave birth to a son. She said, “G-d has removed my shame.” (Bereshis 30:23)

Rashi makes an interesting comment on this verse. He quotes an Aggadah that says as long as a woman has no child, she has no one to blame for her faults. Once she has a child, she blames it on him. What does this Rashi mean? Imagine the scene. Yaakov comes home and can hardly wait to eat the leftover slice of pizza he had in the fridge. He opens the fridge to find an empty piece of aluminum foil. “Who ate my pizza?” Yaakov asks. As Rochel is wiping her mouth to make sure there is no sauce left on it she says, “Yosef must’ve eaten it.” Is this what Rashi means?

Of course, not. Rochel did not look for someone to blame for something she did wrong. This Rashi is teaching us a great lesson. Rochel did not want the child so she could blame him when she did something bad. She would blame him to remind herself she has a son.

Let me explain. Yaakov comes home and asks “who broke the mirror?” Little Yosef is the one who broke it, so Rochel smiles and says, “Little Yosef broke it.” The reason for the smile was because as she said this she thinks, “Baruch Hashem, I have a son who breaks things. It is true that if I did not have a son, this would not have been broken, but I am so happy that I have a son.” This is what Rashi meant when she now has someone to blame. With much excitement she can say, “I have a son! That is why it is broken.”

When you drive your car into the mechanic, you should put on a big smile and scream out, “Baruch Hashem, I have a car — that is broken.” When the computer goes too slow, “Baruch Hashem, I have a computer — that is too slow.” When you need to call a plumber, say, “Baruch Hashem, I have indoor plumbing which right now isn’t working.” This Rashi is teaching us that instead of always focusing on the bad, focus on the good.

People might look at you strangely when you behave this way, but I can tell you that you will live a much happier life this way. This week, my wife told me about something which might cost a lot more than I thought it would. Normally, I would get nervous and worry, but this week, I smiled and said, “Baruch Hashem!” Baruch Hashem, I have this thing which might cost me a lot of money.

Good Shabbos!
-yes
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