1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.
4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.
1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.
4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.
Once something is defined as derogatory, it is forbidden to relate it other than for constructive purposes and under specific conditions which will be discussed later. One may not share negative information about people with friends and family including one’s spouse. It must be underscored that relating loshon hara to ones spouse is no less forbidden than when relating it to anyone else. To focus on another’s shortcomings is undignified and wrong.
Sefer Chofetz Chaim, 16 Tishrei, page 80
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