Dear Zeide, (Grandpa)
My wife, Gilda, has sticky fingers. When we go to the doctor, she grabs a handful of the candy at the reception desk and put it into her pocket. At the dentist, she grabs two handfuls of the mints. She leaves nothing for the other patients. Any ideas of what I should do to stop her?

Dear Yosela,
Oy Vay, I feel sorry for you. Tell her the following story.
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop-lifting.
When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?”
She replied: a can of peaches.
The judge asked her why she had stolen them, and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, “I will give you 6 days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s husband jumped and spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, “What is it Sir?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

By Allen Sherman