Parashas Ki Teitsei 5781 – The Neshama

“When you’ll go out to war against your enemies and Hashem delivers him into your hand and you take a prisoner.” “You will see among the captives a beautiful woman and you’ll desire her and will take her to wife, you shall bring her to your house, and she shall trim her hair and pare her nails”. It’s a very enigmatic Parasha where everything is said in parables, but those subjects are very deep. In fact, it’s the Parasha with the most Mitzvos, 74 are mentioned, which enhances its mystical character. Let’s analyze the core message: 1- The rules of engagement were already taught in last week Parasha, in details and only a few verses above, why then this repeating them? 2- The Pasuk says: you’ll go to war against your “enemies”, in plural, though regarding the victory it says: Hashem will deliver “him”, in singular. 3- You will make “a prisoner”. it’s an interesting prediction that there will be only one captive, and it will be a “beautiful woman”. The Gemara teaches us, that only the Tsaddikim, and the righteous, those who had never sinned, were going to war. Is it possible that for a woman they’ll renege their entire life commitments to Hashem? 4- “You’ll desire her and will marry her;” Meaning, if he only wants to indulge his libido and does not want to marry her, that rule does not apply, and he must control himself. The logic would dictate the opposite. At home he has his faithful wife, the mother of his children, also a Tzadeikeis, surely engrossed in prayers and tears to Hashem to protect her husband. It seems cruel to allow her husband to bring home a beautiful gentile. What has his wife done to deserve such a misery? Prior to address the above questions, let’s wonder about the gentile pattern, in their wars against the Jews, to adorn their daughters and put them on the front-line riding towards the enemy. Who in his right mind sends his daughter to war? Which mother sends her daughter in harm’s way all adorned? Which young lady accepts such a without any weapon or training? Why was it only done in wars against the Jews? The Rambam has an entire section about our rules of engagement. It’s amazing to see how humane Jews remain even on the battlefield. For example: “When we besiege a city which we want to capture, we do not encircle it from all four sides, but only on three. We leave one side open for them to flee. Anyone who wishes to escape with his life may so do”. Furthermore; “Fruit-bearing trees must not be cut down outside of the city [in order to famish the city] nor do we block their irrigation water…”

The Zohar explains that this Parasha is not addressing the rules of engagement, this was already covered in the Parashas Shoftim. Hence, only last Parasha mentions the term “waging war”, but our Parasha doesn’t mention it all. It merely deals with the person who decided to go to war against his enemies [not our enemies]. So, it’s obviously addressing a different type of war, which is more personal. The one one wages against his evil penchant, his Yetzer Hara. This is then how the Pasuk reads: When you’ll decide to wage war to your enemies, which are all the temptations and distractions that prevent you from serving Hashem, Then Hashem will make you victorious over the one responsible for all this evil. In other words, just by deciding to go to war against your Yetzer Hara, Hashem will hand you the victory, without you having to fight. One may say, I feel good the way I am, why change? The Zohar reveals that to entrap a person, the Yetzer Hara will ensure to provide blessings and success. One feels accomplishes and walks with contentment with a smile on the face. The Yetzer Hara can now start his prosecutorial job. Bit by bit darkness is crawling into your life and you don’t understand. The smile is being replaced by a rictus of pain and bewilderment. The Zohar explains that our only weapon is the Thora, this is the antidote to the Yetzer Hara. The numerical value of the word Torah [ תורה [is 611 exactly as the names of the male and female Yetzer Hara [ לילית, סמאל .[As soon as he hears Thora, he’s giving in without fighting. Then, he releases a “beautiful woman”, which is the Neshama where resides in each Jew. Once, one gains awareness of his Neshama and its beauty, his only desire is to marry her. If one knew how beautiful the Neshama is he would relentlessly look for her. Here’s a beautiful Shabbos story: It was a joyous day in the Ukrainian city of Mohyliv, where the Jewish community was inaugurating the new women’s mikvah. Times were difficult and the fact that they had scraped together the funds to build a spacious and welcoming mikvah was certainly cause for celebration. The atmosphere was jubilant at the crowded reception, especially among the women, who treasured the mitzvah of mikvah and looked forward to using the new facility. The Rebbetzin and the butcher’s wife found themselves sitting together; both women shared a common sorrow, they were childless. A well[1]wisher came over and wholeheartedly blessed them that they should merit to have children. The Rebbetzin was so moved that she declared to the butcher’s wife, “If we merit, with G-d’s blessing, to have children, you a girl and I a boy, or vice versa, let’s marry them off. What a fine shidduch that will be!” When the rabbi heard that his unborn offspring had been promised to the butcher and his wife, he was none too pleased. But time passed, and the entire episode was all but forgotten. Years passed and the rabbi of Mohyliv was looking for a suitable young man for his daughter. He traveled from one yeshivah to another, searching for a young man who was learned, sensitive, G-d fearing, and from fine, respectable stock. In one Yeshivah, he met the son of the rabbi of Kyiv, who impressed him, and the engagement was soon announced. During the engagement period, the groom was invited for an extended stay in Mohyliv, his wife’s hometown. The excited groom was warmly welcomed. As the visit wore on, a sense of unexplained anxiety seemed to overcome him. His change of mood could be traced to a certain house on the way from the bride’s home to the synagogue. Whenever he walked by, a woman would stand at the window and stare him down. At times, he even noticed her weeping. His curiosity got the better of him and one day he approached her and asked her to explain her tears. “It is my personal story and does not have anything to do with you,” she said with saddened eyes. The groom gently pressed her, and at last, she acquiesced. As she told the story, the groom became pale and asked to be allowed into the house to sit down. A long while passed, and he struggled to regain his composure. Finally, he went back to the home of his future in-laws. It was from that moment on that the unexplained anxiety was apparent in the young groom. The date of the wedding arrived. Excitement filled the air. The rabbi of Mohyliv and the rabbi of Kyiv were escorting the groom to the chuppah. Friends and relatives had gathered from the entire region to celebrate this important occasion with their venerable leaders. Before the ceremony began, the groom asked to say a few words. The surprised crowd listened in silence. He began by confiding how he had noticed a woman crying every time he walked past, and then revealed what she had told him on that fateful day. The woman, the butcher’s wife, told him what had happened some two decades prior, on the day of the mikvah inauguration, when she and the Rebbetzin had given their word that if blessed with children, they would marry them to one another. “The Rebbetzin had a girl, and I had a boy,” the butcher’s wife explained, “but my dreams for my son’s future were short-lived. My domestic helper took my baby in a wooden tub to the river together with the laundry. As she was working, a wave swept away the tub with the baby inside. The tragedy was so awful, we never recovered. “Now, when I see you walking by, I remember my lost child, who, according to the plan, was supposed to marry the rabbi’s daughter.” This part of the story was well known to the townspeople, and they understood the heartache of the butcher’s wife. However, what followed is what shocked the crowd. The groom continued: “I asked the woman if she still had any of the kerchiefs she had used to swaddle her son. When she replied in the affirmative, it was my turn to be shocked. “I must reveal a family secret: I am not the biological son of the rabbi and Rebbetzin of Kyiv. They were childless and adopted me after someone found me on the Dniester riverbank, next to one of the Jewish neighborhoods. My adoptive parents only had one sign that would identify me – the cloth I was wrapped in.” “When the butcher’s wife showed me the cloth she had wrapped her baby in, I recognized that I was standing before my biological mother. I am now about to be married, and my birth parents are sitting home and mourning!” the groom concluded. The emotion that washed over the crowd is nearly impossible to describe. All the guests escorted the groom to his parents’ house. The rabbi embraced the butcher, as the Rebbetzin hugged the butcher’s wife. Twenty years after they had made up to marry their children, they set off to the chuppah, all three sets of parents together. The joy that pervaded Mohyliv that night, was never matched.

Rabbi Fridmann

By Rabbi Fridmann * [email protected] * 305.985.3461

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