Parshas Va’eschanan has the very famous Aseres Ha’Dibros (commonly translated as the Ten Commandments). There is a very interesting promise Hashem makes to the Jewish people. In chapter 5, verse 16, it states “Honor your father and mother as I, Hashem your G-d, has commanded you, so that you can have a long life on the land that Hashem your G-d gave to you”. The question is obvious: why of all the mitzvos does this one promise a long life?

I once heard a great insight that I’d like to share with you. When someone honors another person, it gives the person being honored a good feeling inside. It motivates them to do better. It gives them the desire to continue to live.

When a child honors his parents, all of this is true also. When the child takes care of their parents, it motivates the parent to live. It has been proven that the more a person desires to live, the more likely they are to live. When someone has a terrible disease, the first and most important step is to have a positive attitude and a desire to live. Therefore, when a child honors his parents, the parents will live longer lives due to the greater desire to now live.

The greatest way to teach someone how to do something is teaching by example. Therefore, if you want to teach your children to honor their parents, you have to honor your parents. When your child sees that you honor your parents, this child will internalize that and honor you. When the child honors you, you will be more motivated to live.

Therefore, the more you honor your parents, you will lengthen their lives. You also will show your child how to honor you properly, which will also lengthen your own life. The way you treat someone else, you also will be treated.

Rabbi Yaakov Seltzer