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Just Tell Them!
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10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to View/Close
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH
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    • Guarding our speech for 2 hours view post
    • Refuah List
    • Parnasa List
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    • Teshuva List
    • Shidduch List
    • Easy Childbirth
    • Success to Conceive
    • Missing Person List
    • Igunot List
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        • V’Zot HaBerachah
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      • Halacha on the Parsha
      • Halachapedia
      • Mi Yodeya
    • My613
    • Lashon Hara
    • Holidays
    • Fast Days
    • Davening
      • Go Daven
      • Smart Siddur
      • Online Ashkenaz Siddur
      • Online Sefard Siddur
      • Online Edot HaMizrach Siddur
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      • Chulin
      • Horayot
      • Menachos
      • Zevachim
    • Pirkei Avos
    • Torah Teasers
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    • Torah Anytime
      • Aish HaTorah
      • Chabad.org
      • Sefaria
      • The Shmuz
      • Jewish Virtual Library
  • Ion Kosher
  • Famous Quotes
  • Jokes
  • Subscribe
    • Subscribe to our weekly newsletter & Divrei Torah
  • Find Jewish Singles
  • Ask The Rabbi A Question!
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  • Post A Note at The Kotel
  • Need A Recipe? Ask The Chef?
Login
"NO GOSSIP PLEASE"
Don’t Be Shy!!!
Just Tell Them!
“NG PLEASE”
NG Please!!

Click to view

10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to view
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

Devarim

Vaeschanan 5772 – Someone is Listening

August 2, 2012 Sammy Tamir

I MUST BEGIN BY ONCE AGAIN THANKING SAMMY TAMIR FOR RUNNING THIS WEBSITE. SIX YEARS AGO FOR THIS WEEK’S PARSHA,…

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Posted in: Parsha, Va'etchanan Filed under: Parsha

Haazinu 5771 – How to Properly Water Flowers

September 26, 2011 Sammy Tamir

May my Torah drop as the rain (Devarim 32:2) If a person wants plants to grow, he needs to water…

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Posted in: Haazinu, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Nitzavim/Vayelech 5771 – How to earn Huge merits

September 22, 2011 Sammy Tamir

All of you stand together on this day (Devarim 29:9) The Kli Yakar points out that there is a new…

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Posted in: Nitzavim, Parsha, Vayelech Filed under: Parsha

Ki Savo 5771 – Don’t Worry, Be Happy

September 15, 2011 Sammy Tamir

You shall rejoice with all of the good Hashem gave to you… (Devarim 26:11) Rabbi Avigdor Miller points out how…

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Posted in: Ki Tavo, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Ki Seitzei 5771 – Advanced Imaging Technology at Airports

September 6, 2011 Sammy Tamir

You shall make for yourself twisted threads on the four corners of the garment which you cover yourself with. (Devarim…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Shoftim 5771 – Lions, Zebras, and Giraffes (oh my)

August 31, 2011 Sammy Tamir

And it will be when he sits on his royal throne, he shall write two Sifrei Torah (Devarim 17:18) A…

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Posted in: Parsha, Shoftim Filed under: Parsha

Re’eh 5771 – The Secret to Becoming Very Wealthy

August 25, 2011 Sammy Tamir

You must surely tithe (Devarim 14:22) Our Sages say if a person gives Ma’aser (ten percent of his income to…

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Posted in: Parsha, Re'eh Filed under: Parsha

Ekev 5771 – Disconnect to Connect

August 17, 2011 Sammy Tamir

“And you are to teach them to your sons” Devarim 11:19 I like to listen to Torah lectures, especially ones…

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Posted in: Eikev, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Vaeschanan 5771 – Jealousy

August 8, 2011 Sammy Tamir

THIS WEEK’S DIVREI SIMCHA IS AN ESPECIALLY JOYFUL MOMENT FOR ME AS THIS IS MY FIFTH YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WRITING…

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Posted in: Parsha, Va'etchanan Filed under: Parsha

Devarim 5771 – 9/11, Tisha B’Av and a 9 year old boy

August 3, 2011 Sammy Tamir

These are the words Moshe told all of the Jews… (Devarim 1:1) In this week’s parsha, Moshe reviews certain devastating…

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Posted in: Devarim, Fast Days, Holidays, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

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