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Just Tell Them!
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10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to View/Close
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH
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    • Guarding our speech for 2 hours view post
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    • Shidduch List
    • Easy Childbirth
    • Success to Conceive
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    • Post A Note at The Kotel
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        • Nitzavim
        • Vayelech
        • Haazinu
        • V’Zot HaBerachah
    • Halacha
      • Halacha on the Parsha
      • Halachapedia
      • Mi Yodeya
    • My613
    • Lashon Hara
    • Holidays
    • Fast Days
    • Davening
      • Go Daven
      • Smart Siddur
      • Online Ashkenaz Siddur
      • Online Sefard Siddur
      • Online Edot HaMizrach Siddur
    • Kitzur Daf
      • Chulin
      • Horayot
      • Menachos
      • Zevachim
    • Pirkei Avos
    • Torah Teasers
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    • Torah Anytime
      • Aish HaTorah
      • Chabad.org
      • Sefaria
      • The Shmuz
      • Jewish Virtual Library
  • Ion Kosher
  • Famous Quotes
  • Jokes
  • Subscribe
    • Subscribe to our weekly newsletter & Divrei Torah
  • Find Jewish Singles
  • Ask The Rabbi A Question!
  • My Miracle
  • Sell Your Stuff Free Listing
  • Post A Note at The Kotel
  • Need A Recipe? Ask The Chef?
Login
"NO GOSSIP PLEASE"
Don’t Be Shy!!!
Just Tell Them!
“NG PLEASE”
NG Please!!

Click to view

10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to view
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

Bereshit

Vayishlach 5770 – Vodka

December 1, 2009 Sammy Tamir

The Gemara in Sota lists seven types of people that are called “Perushim” (ascetics) for the wrong reason. The first…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayishlach Filed under: Parsha

Vayetzei 5770 – Growing

November 24, 2009 Sammy Tamir

I would like to share a thought on this week’s parsha that I heard from a student of the Chofetz…

Continue Reading →

Posted in: Parsha, Vayetze Filed under: Parsha

Toldos 5770 – Esav’s Big Mistake

November 18, 2009 Sammy Tamir

It was a sad day. Avraham had passed away and Yitzchak was in mourning. Yaakov went to the kitchen to…

Continue Reading →

Posted in: Parsha, Toledot Filed under: Parsha

Chayei Sara 5770 – Where’s Pesukei D’Zimra in Mincha?

November 8, 2009 Sammy Tamir

“Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field towards evening.” (Bereshis 24:63) In this week’s parsha, we learn about the…

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Posted in: Chayei Sarah, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Vayera 5770 – the daughters of Lot

November 5, 2009 Sammy Tamir

When Rav Moshe Feinstein lived in Europe, there was a man in his shul that always had a problem with…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayeira Filed under: Parsha

Lech Lecha 5770 – Ground Control to Avram

October 29, 2009 Sammy Tamir

In the 1950s and 1960s, America and Russia raced to see who would be first to send a person into…

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Posted in: Lech-Lecha, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Noach 5770 – Bad Influences

October 21, 2009 Sammy Tamir

“All beings that moved on the earth died: birds, animals, beasts, and all creeping critters that creep on the earth…

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Posted in: Noach, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Bereshis 5770 – Living a Life of Pleasure

October 14, 2009 Sammy Tamir

I was recently listening to a lecture from Rabbi Mordechai Becher and he asked a question: “What is the first…

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Posted in: Bereshit, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Vayichi 5769 – Don’t make others judge favorably

January 8, 2009 Sammy Tamir

In this week’s parsha, Yaakov is on his deathbed and Yosef comes to visit him. Yaakov makes Yosef take a…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayechi Filed under: Parsha

Vayigash 5769 – That’s Bad! That’s Good!

December 30, 2008 Sammy Tamir

The mishna in Masechta Brachos states a person should say a blessing over bad news just as he would over…

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Posted in: Parsha, Vayigash Filed under: Parsha

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