White toothed from milk (Bereshis 49:12)

The Gemara in Kesubos quotes the above verse and states that when a person displays the whites of his teeth (by smiling), it is more beneficial than giving a person a cup of milk. A person smiles to make another person happy. The key is that the person smiling first needs to be happy himself. Then, he can smile and make another person happy.

Let me share two stories.

This past week, through someone I knew, I received hockey tickets to a Florida Panthers game. Near the end of the game, the person who gave my oldest son and I the tickets also gave us something else: special passes to meet some of the players as they were leaving. My son was so excited as we got to meet about a dozen of the players on the Panthers. My son took a selfie with some of the players and I noticed that not a single one of the players smiled. There were about 25 fans who had special passes to greet the players and never once did I see a player smile. One reason might be because hockey players are missing teeth, but the players didn’t even smile without showing their teeth. The reason is because I don’t think the players are happy.

Compare that to Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach. His wife passed away and he was in the hospital to make the funeral arrangements. He was extremely close to his wife and was crying non-stop. Suddenly, one of his students came running over to him and screamed, “Rebbe, my wife just had a baby boy.” The Rosh Yeshiva gave a huge smile and said, “Mazel Tov! I’m so happy to hear about this.” The student did not even realize his Rebbe was going through the most difficult moment in his life.

Think about it: these hockey players are living the American dream. They are playing the game they love. The Panthers won the game on that night we went to see them. Fans were waiting for an hour to greet them. Some of the players walked out with their beautiful wives. My son and I walked into the players’ parking lot and saw cars which start at $100K. These players are living a dream, but they didn’t smile. They aren’t happy.

Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was going through a difficult time, but still smiled. He still was able to feel happiness for another person and share that happiness.

When I think about these two stories, it is pretty clear which type of life I want to live.

Good Shabbos!
-y.e.s.
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