When a woman has a discharge of blood from her body, for seven days she shall be a Niddah. (Vayikra 15:19)

Last week, we discussed how pleasurable it is to live a life following the Torah. I ended with a question, which I would like to begin to answer this week (and probably will continue for at least one more week, maybe more). If a Torah life is so pleasurable, why are there so many limits? For example, a husband and wife are forbidden to be intimate with each other, on average, two weeks weeks out of every month. How enjoyable is that?

Imagine your dream vacation. Personally, I would like to visit California, so I am going to use this as an example. Let’s say I have finally saved up enough money and enough vacation time at work to travel to California. My family and I are very excited as we get into our car and begin the cross-country drive to the land of orange groves, giant redwoods, and the Golden Gate Bridge. We drive up and down the coast and see all of the beautiful sights until the vacation is finally over and we are back home. Six months later, I am able to go on vacation again, and I decide we should go to California again. We go to all of the same sights and do all of the same things. It is still fun, but the first time was better. Let’s imagine that for the next 10 years, I visit all of the same sights in California. Will I still be enjoying it? My children will probably be bored out of their minds in the back of the car saying, “do we have to do this again? Can’t we go somewhere else this year?” When you do something over and over and over again, even if it is the most pleasurable thing, you will eventually get bored with it.

Why are there limits in Judaism? Very simple – it is so people have more pleasure. Intimate moments between a husband and wife are an extremely important part of marriage. But, if these intimate moments happen all of the time, eventually, the husband and wife will become bored with each other. Therefore, it is recommended by the best marriage counselors today (which includes non-Jews) that a husband and wife should limit their intimate moments. Take two weeks off every month. This time will reignite the desire each month which will bring pleasure. Limiting the pleasurable moments makes each special moment like it is brand new. If the limits are not in place, it is very easy to become bored, which leads to marital disharmony.

Judaism has certain limits in many areas. The reason is the same – it is to make life more pleasurable. Although it seems like we are denying ourselves certain joyful moments, the exact opposite is true. We are making ourselves more happy by having the limits.

To be continued next week…

Good Shabbos!
-yes
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