Parashat Behaaloscha 5781 – Pitfall of Judging

At the end of our Parasha is buried in a few short Verses a shocking episode; “Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moshe regarding the Cushite woman he had married, for he had married a Cushite woman. They said, ‘Was it only to Moshe that Hashem spoke to? Did He not speak to us as well?’ And Hashem heard. Now, the man Moshe was exceedingly humble, more than any person on the face of the earth!” [Bamidbar 12:1-3] The origin of badmouthing is usually jealousy, one puts down his friend because he feels that he on a lower level and cannot live with it. Miriam was a saint, she watched over her brother when he was put in the Nile river, while she was still very young. She approached Pharaoh’s daughter to ensure her brother wellbeing. The Midrash [Tanchuma Bamidbar 2] relates that the well that was traveling for 40 years with the Bnei Yisrael in the desert, their only source of water, was in the merit of Miriam. She was a holy prophetess too, how is it then that she allowed herself to gossip about her saint brother who ascended to the Heavens to bring down the Torah? The Mishna [Avos 1:12] glorifies Aaron; “Hillel would say: Be of the disciples of Aaron; a peace lover, a peace pursuer, one who loves the creatures and draws them close to Torah.” The above Verses clearly contradict the Mishna. Listening to badmouthing and to not counter the teller show the same ill-feeling of jealousy is shared by the listener. Someone committed to peace does not partake in these lowly practices. Someone loving every Jew, even the wicked, does not have darkness in his heart. Because Aaron has unconditional love for every Jew, he deserved to light the Menorah. How can it be explained that he felt hostility towards his own brother? The Midrash [Tanchuma 96:13] provides some background to the incident. Moshe stopped cohabiting with his wife Tziporah after he descended from Mount Sinai. When Hashem requested that seventy elders be chosen to help Moshe, they were facing a problem. There were twelve tribes to represent and only seventy sages allowed, meaning that 10 tribes will have six representants and two tribes will only have five. This is a recipe for jealousy and hostility. The decision was made to write seventy-two names on lots and pick the seventy elders by drawing the first seventy names. Eldad and Meidad, both of whose names had been included in the draw, decided to solve the selection problem by not showing up to the drawing. For this act of generosity and humility they were awarded with the gift of prophecy, and they began to prophesize in the camp. Their prophecy was: “Moshe will die in the desert and Joshua will lead the Jews into Israel.” Tziporah and Miriam were both present when Moshe was informed. Miriam overheard Tziporah remark, “How unfortunate are their wives as their husbands will now stop cohabiting with them just as my husband no longer cohabits with me.” Tziporah was so upset about Moshe’s separation that she didn’t even react to the content of the prophecy regarding her husband’s death but remained focused on the status of her marital affairs. The separation was ordered by Hashem and carried out without soliciting their agreement. Upon realizing this, Miriam decided to intervene on the behalf of her sister-in-law and tried to enlist Aaron’s help who was reputed for peacemaking between couples. Her argument was that she and Aaron were also prophets and yet they continued to lead normal marital lives. It was then obvious that Moshe was inflicting uncalled anguish to his wife by his ascetic behavior, and it was his family’s responsibility, to protect his marriage. Rashi explains Miriam’s harsh punishment; “Miriam that had no intention to disparage Moshe was severely punished, how much more so someone who intentionally disparages his fellow”! To fully understand Rashi’s teaching the light of the Arizal is required. The Arizal provides more content about Miriam’s decision to act. Eldad and Meidad prophesized that Moshe will die abd be buried in the desert while his student Yehoshua will bring the nation into the land of Israel. This is what puzzled Miriam; Yaakov passed away in Egypt and as a righteous deserved to be buried in Israel. Yosef too deserved to have his bones buried in Israel. Why would then Moshe not deserve the same as he was a righteous? It had to be because of leaving his wife, therefore she decided to act. This illustrate the pitfall of being judgmental, two of the greatest prophets, Miriam and Aaron could not get it right, even more so commoners. Therefore, Hillel teaches [Avos 2:4]: “Do not judge your fellow until you reach his place.” In other words, since you will never reach your friend’s place; never judge as it will always be wrong. Human mind just does not have that capacity, even if you are a prophet! Hereafter is an inspiring story! Zelig was a simple, unlearned Jew, who lived in a small, isolated village and earned his livelihood by running an inn. Now and then, he would travel to the righteous Rabbi Mordechai of Neshchiz, one of the leading Chassidic Rebbe in Volhynia. Zelig chanced on a good business deal one day, which yielded a hefty profit. With this profit, he invested in other ventures, each of which was quickly successful. Within a few months, the humble innkeeper was on his way to becoming a magnate. As Zelig was now far busier, the trips to his Rebbe became less frequent, and then stopped entirely. His once-warm heart began to cool, and he became disconnected from Torah study and mitzvah observance. In the deep recesses of his heart, he was still drawn to his old way of life, but he acted like the gentile nobility with whom he now rubbed shoulders. Dissatisfied with having one foot in each world, he decided to renounce his Judaism and convert. Before acting on impulse, he decided to visit his Rebbe, whose reaction would determine his next move. “If the Rebbe rejects and scorns me, I will know exactly how to proceed,” he thought. “But if he accepts me despite my shortcomings, I will change course and remain a Jew.” One morning, the Rebbe summoned his beloved and devoted student, Reb Naphtali Tzvi of Ropshitz, who spent time studying under the guidance of his master and instructed him to pack his bags and go back home. Reb Naftali began to cry. “What did I do wrong? Why are you sending me away?” “Do as you are instructed!” the Rebbe replied. Distraught, Reb Naphtali Tzvi approached Reb Mordechai’s wife and begged her to intercede on his behalf. She asked her husband for an explanation for the sudden expulsion of his beloved student. “Not everything is revealed to me; I myself do not know why,” Reb Mordechai responded. “But I remain firm in my wish that he go home.” The Rebbetzin continued pleading until Reb Mordechai gave in. “I see Naphtali is heartbroken, and you are advocating for him. I will retract my instructions and he may stay.” Zelig arrived a few days later, his wagon loaded with gifts of choice produce and delicacies for his Rebbe. When Zelig entered, the Rebbe was not in his house but at the adjacent synagogue. Reb Naftali Tzvi greeted Zelig, and, sensing his spiritual decline, immediately began to rebuke the newcomer: “How dare you show your face here in the holy court of our Rebbe when you are sullied in sin? Have you no shame?! Repent, and only once you have cleansed yourself, should you return to this sacred place!” Suffering through Reb Naftali Tzvi’s “welcome” was more than enough. Zelig made an about-face, climbed back onto his wagon, and headed out of town in a cloud of dust. “That’s it, there is nothing left for me among the Jewish people,” he thought. With the wagon still in sight, Reb Mordechai exited the synagogue looking pale-faced and stricken. “Who was the person who just left?” he asked. “Zelig the innkeeper,” replied Reb Naphtali Tzvi. “What did you do?!” cried Reb Mordechai in shock. “Run after him with all your strength and tell him that I long to see him, longing with all my heart.” Setting aside his churning thoughts, Reb Naftali Tzvi sprinted after the wagon that was quickly receding into the horizon. “Zelig! Come back. The Rebbe is calling you.” Reb Naftali Tzvi bellowed with his remaining strength. “The Rebbe longs to see you! With his whole heart, he is longing for you.” Zelig heard the cry and stopped his wagon, turned around and rumbled back into Neshchiz. Reb Mordechai himself stood at the door and greeted Zelig with open arms and a radiant face. “Shalom Aleichem, my dear Zelig!” he beamed as he ushered him into his office. A long time passed before Zelig exited the Rebbe’s office, his face was aflame and his eyes wet with tears. After Zelig departed, Reb Mordechai called in Reb Naftali Tzvi and said, “I see my hunch to send you home was correct.” Naphtali did not dare raise his eyes. “Do not take it the wrong way,” continued Reb Mordechai. “I love you like a son. But today you almost expelled a Jew from the Jewish nation with your words.” Reb Mordechai became pensive and explained. “The Jewish nation is like a tree with many branches. All the branches receive their life from the trunk, which in turn draws its life from the ground. Sometimes there may be an obstruction, a distant branch stops receiving nourishment and slowly withers up and can break off from the tree. “Zelig recently began disconnecting with his life source. The Jewish vitality in his soul had dried up, and he was about to crack off the tree. If I had not showered him with an enormous amount of love, Zelig would have converted. By miracle, his soul was saved, and he is now firmly reattached to the Jewish family tree.

Rabbi Fridmann

By Rabbi Fridmann * [email protected] * 305.985.3461

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