Chayei Sara 5772 – Honeymoons

He [Yitzchak] married Rivka and she became his wife (Bereshis 24:67)

This week’s parsha is known as the parsha for marriages as it discusses Eliezer finding a wife for Yitzchak. Therefore, I would like to share a thought about marriage.

I was recently listening to a Torah lecture from Rav Eli Mansour and he discussed the origin of a honeymoon. Honeymoons were started by non-Jews. There is a non-Jewish idea that the way to reach holiness is to abstain from mundane activities and since marriage is a mundane act, the ultimate goal is to remain single. Therefore, when someone got married, this person was saddened as he was unable to reach a high state of holiness. After the marriage, the bride and groom needed to get away to put their mind at ease so they ran away to a foreign city. They would visit parks or monuments so they could get their mind off of the “unholy” act they committed. They were a failure and could only console themselves by running away for a couple of days.

Judaism is the exact opposite. Marriage is not sinful at all; actually, it is an extremely holy event. The Jewish name for marriage is “kiddushin” which comes from the word Kadosh, which means Holiness. It is a mitzvah to get married as it is one of the greatest acts a Jewish person can perform.

I once heard a very interesting comment regarding the snake in Parshas Bereshis. Chazal tell us that the snake had a desire to be intimate with Chava. The question is – why? Didn’t the snake have its own mate? Wasn’t there a Mrs. Snake that would have been better for him than a human? The answer is the snake saw Adam and Chava being intimate with each other and saw the act was full of holiness. The snake desired to attach itself with that holiness!

One time Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach was walking home with a student and before he entered his house, he dusted off his clothes. The student asked his Rebbe if there was an important guest in his house. Rav Auerbach responded that our Sages tell us if there is peace between a husband and wife then the Shechina (G-d’s Presence) resides in the house with them. Since he and his wife had a very peaceful relationship, G-d was in his house. Therefore, he dusted off his clothes to greet the Shechina.

Marriage is extremely holy. It is a great moment. We have nothing to be embarrassed about and don’t need to run away on a honeymoon after getting married. We should walk proudly through the city as we entered a great stage in life. We have entered true holiness.

Good Shabbos!
-yes
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