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Just Tell Them!
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10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to View/Close
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH
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        • Bamidbar
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    • My613
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    • Holidays
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      • Go Daven
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      • Online Ashkenaz Siddur
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    • Subscribe to our weekly newsletter & Divrei Torah
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Login
"NO GOSSIP PLEASE"
Don’t Be Shy!!!
Just Tell Them!
“NG PLEASE”
NG Please!!

Click to view

10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

1. Do not express damaging or derogatory information about someone that might cause him physical, psychological or financial harm, even if it is true and deserved.
2. Promote people’s well being. When in doubt, don’t speak out.
3. Humor is great, but make sure jokes aren’t at someone else’s expense.

4. Be kind to yourself. Speaking badly even about yourself is unethical.
5. Don’t listen to gossip. If you can’t change the direction of the conversation, it is advisable to leave.
6. If you inadvertently hear damaging information, you should believe that it is NOT true.
7. Always give others the benefit of the doubt and focus on the positive.
8. Words once spoken can’t be erased. Think before you speak, especially if you are angry, hurt or jealous.
9. Use kind and supportive words with your children and spouse whenever possible. Harsh words can cause irreparable harm as can speaking derogatorily to others about the ones you love most.
10. It is not only permitted, but required, to warn a person about potential harm – for example, that a potential business partner has a repeated record of embezzlement.

Halachot Lashon Horah
The Chofetz Chaim
הלכות שמירת הלשון Click to view
  • Affliction of the Soul
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • Loshon Hora: A Definition
  • Breach of Halachah
  • Lack of Commitment
  • Relative Statements
  • Character
  • Content and Intent
  • Matters of Taste
  • Past History
  • Self Incrimination
  • With Permission
  • Common Knowledge
  • Ambiguous Statements
  • Obvious Intent
  • “Your Peopleâ€?
  • Other Forms of Negativity
  • The Listener
  • Repentance
  • Definition
  • Embarassing Remarks
  • Ruining Opportunities
  • Disparagement and Ridicule
  • When the Subject Approves
  • About Children
  • Harming the Wicked
  • Repentance
  • Unknowing Victim
  • Other Means of Communication
  • Without Names
  • Slander
  • Non-Kosher Entertainment
  • Negative Allusions
  • Harmful Praise
  • Praisein the Presence of Adversaries
  • Obvious Implications
  • Constructive Negatives
  • Public Knowledge But Harmful
  • Baalei Teshuvah
  • The Habitual Speaker of Loshon Hora
  • Like Any Other Prohibition
  • Fighting Fire With Fire
  • Toeles – Constructive Purpose
  • Parameters
  • Preconditions
  • End Result
  • Reprove First
  • A Last Resort
  • Be Accurate
  • Intent
  • Harmful Information
  • In Summation
  • Helping Others to Improve
  • Passing Judgment
  • The Occasional Sinner
  • The Habitual Sinner
  • Social Pressure
  • Public Announcements
  • Loshon Hora and the Non-Observant
  • Avoiding Flattery
  • Character Deficiencies
  • Problem Students
  • With No Alternative
  • Harming A Student
  • Informing
  • Initiating A Din Torah
  • Accusations Against the Beis Din
  • The Rights Of The Victim
  • Verbal Abuse
  • Serious Threats
  • Possible Harm
  • Overhearing a Threat
  • Consumer Protection
  • A Better Deal
  • Unsafe Products
  • Kashrus
  • Shifting the Blame
  • Quest for Truth or Personal Feud
  • Rabble-Rousers
  • Teaching from Other People’s Mistakes
  • Breaking up a Harmful Friendship
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting a Relationsip
  • When Facts May be Concealed
  • Suggesting a Shidduch: The Balance
  • Advice
  • The Struggle Against Lashon Ha’ra
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Potentially Harmful Relationships
  • Suggesting A Relationship
  • When suggesting a sidduch
  • When Facts May Be Concealed
  • When Listening is Lowly
  • 10 PRACTICAL GUIDELINES FOR POSITIVE SPEECH

Ki Teitzi

Ki Seitzei 5773 – Don’t Do A Mitzvah That You Do Not Get Credit For

August 14, 2013 Sammy Tamir

You shall not see your brother’s ox or sheep straying and ignore them. Rather, you shall return them to your…

Continue Reading →

Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Ki Seitzei 5772 – Joy at a Funeral

August 29, 2012 Sammy Tamir

THIS WEEK’S DIVREI SIMCHA IS LONGER THAN USUAL, BUT THAT IS BECAUSE IT INCLUDES AN AMAZING STORY THAT HAPPENED TO…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Ki Seitzei 5771 – Advanced Imaging Technology at Airports

September 6, 2011 Sammy Tamir

You shall make for yourself twisted threads on the four corners of the garment which you cover yourself with. (Devarim…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Ki Seitzei 5770 – One Mitzvah Leads to Another One and Another One and Another One

August 19, 2010 Sammy Tamir

Our Sages teach us that everything in the Torah is placed in a certain spot for a certain reason, and…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Ki Seitzei 5769 – Yefas To’ar

August 26, 2009 Sammy Tamir

Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein tells a story of a man who one day saw the most beautiful woman he had ever…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Ki Tetzei (Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19)

September 10, 2008 Sammy Tamir

A person once came to a Rabbi and started mocking Judaism for all of its laws. The man said there…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Divrei Simcha on Parshas Ki Seitzei 5767 – Rav Auerbach’s Smile

August 22, 2007 Sammy Tamir

You shall not see your brother’s ox or his sheep and hide yourself from them. You shall surely return them…

Continue Reading →

Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

Divrei Simcha on Parshas Ki Seitzei 5766

August 31, 2006 Sammy Tamir

In the middle of this week’s parsha, Ki Seitzei, we find a very interesting few lines (chapter 22, verses 23-27).…

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Posted in: Ki Teitzi, Parsha Filed under: Parsha

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